As you know, my job requires me to go out and meet people, which I love. Almost all of them (except the very few who are the quiet/prepetually-busy types) become like close friends to me. Whenever we meet up, we only talk business for 10 minutes max. The rest are conversations about all sorts of random things. You know, things that you talk about with friends.
(sometimes I think it's so funny how I am 'friends' with guys who are in their 40s and even 50s)
My boss accompanied me to a business meeting once. From her observation, she told me that my strength is building rapport with people. She was impressed that by the end of the first meeting, the client (who was initially very quiet and reserved), in the end became very talkative and he and I were already making jokes at each other's expenses.
I admit that this makes my job easy. When clients are comfortable talking to you, and they trust you, it's easier to seal the deal. But sometimes, my clients trust me too much and they are so comfortable talking to me that they would tell me things that I really don't want to know about.
Like their extra marital affairs.
I am sad to say that more than 50% of my clients have cheated on their partners.
Let's face it girls. We really can't trust men.
Now before you say things like "But my husband is so sweet to me/my husband goes to the mosque 5 times a day/I am drop dead gorgeous so I am sure it won't happen to me", well, you better read on.
Mr A is a colleagues of someone I know. Before meeting him, I asked my acquantance how is he like and what are his hobbies so that I would know what to talk about with him when I see him. The person said that he is very nice guy and is well-respected among his peers. When I came to his office, I saw his family picture on his desk. They look like a nice family. His wife wears a hijab and a niqab. The client was also very pleasant and respectful towards me.
On our 3rd meeting, he told me about his mistress in Jakarta -____-
They met at the golf course a few years back, where she was his caddy driver. Ever since then he has been transferring money to her every month without fail. He even showed me their text messages, and videos of her singing to him wtf.
Mr B is a good looking guy, and is quite charming. So I was not surprised when he told me about his torrid affairs with multiple women. What surprised me was the fact that his wife is crazy hot. Like, seriously hot. Like, dude, come on. Other guys would kill to have a wife who looks like that after 3 kids and here you are bangin on chicks who probably don't even look half as good as her.
He told me that he truly loves his wife and children. He's only sleeping with other women for fun. He prefers someone who is already married or in a relationship because he wants to make sure that she only wants sex, like him. He doesn't want any commitments or strings attached.
He said one time he started to develop feelings for a woman that he was sleeping with. When he realised it, he instantly broke things off with her because he feared that things would get complicated. To him, his affection, his quality time, his money are for his wife and family. Being in a serious relationship with another woman or having another wife is just gonna cost him, which is why he only wants one night stands.
He also said, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her".
I asked him, "What if your wife is doing the same thing behind your back?"
He paused to think about it and then said, "Just don't let me find out. My affairs are not affecting my relationship with my wife. I treat her well and I take care of my family. So if she's also doing the same thing and I don't know about it and she stays the same, then I'm okay. Because we're happy."
Mr C kept telling me that he is the luckiest guy because he has the perfect wife. She cooks for him everyday without fail, she never once raised her voice to him for the 30 years that they have been married, she looks after herself, she's an amazing mom to their children, she's patient and understanding etc.
And every time he talks about his wife, he just glows. He showed me their holiday pictures where they look so lovey dovey with their hands around each other and looking into each others eyes. I thought, wow, a guy who gushes about his wife like this.. It really is the sweetest thing. His wife is so lucky!
Well, not so lucky. Because it turns out Mr C has a long-time girlfriend.
These three examples are only the tip of these iceberg. I wonder why I haven't lost faith in men altogether -____-
And after all these while, it is still hard for me to keep a straight face when they tell me these things. I mean, yeah they're like friends to me but at the end of the day they're my clients and I have to respect them. Plus, it's really non of my business and it's not my place to say anything. But still, sometimes I just feel like punching them in the face.
Some guys cheat because their wives don't care about them or their wives refuse to be intimate with them. Some do it because they have lost feelings towards their wives after years of marriage. Some do it because their friends do it. Some do it simply because they can and they want to.
So the moral of the story is, never trust men 100%. Always make a point to know where they are and who they're with. Maybe these would help too:
- Check their phones
I check Nadri's phone once in a while, and he could check mine anytime he wants.
It's not like I do it every day anyway. I just like knowing that I could and he's perfectly ok with it. I know some people hate it when their other half do that but I don't get it. If you have nothing to hide, why is it an issue? Unless you're the kind who is super jealous and gets all batshit crazy even if you see an innocent text message from his lady colleague asking him for documents, maybe that's why your husband doesn't want you snooping around?
Mr C from example 3 said that one of the reasons his wife is perfect is because she gives him total privacy. He told me that he could even answer his girlfriend's calls when he's at home because he'd just tell his wife that he has an important call to take and go to the other room and his wife wouldn't even question who it was or even bother to check it herself.
I don't blame Mr C for 'loving' his wife so much. Not only is she the perfect wife, but her naivety also allows him to get away with infidelity.
- Keep track of their finances
Mr A from Example 1 transfers money to his mistress every month. If only his wife checks his account transactions, she'd figure things out.
I have access to Nadri's bank account, credit card statement (full of items from Toys R us and Mothercare and Zara Baby, so unfair!), and Paypal. I also have the password to all of his email accounts and social networks, and he knows mine as well. Maybe that's because our password is usually the same, just like our ATM pin number. And sometimes he has to ask me for his credit card number because I have memorised it along with the 3 digit security code LOL.
- Be financially secure
So that if your husband turns out to be a lying cheating scumbag (nauzubillah), you can ditch him and survive on your own. If you're a housewife, make sure you have ample savings and put the house and any other assets under your name or something.
Some girls might say, why so paranoid? Don't be so insecure with yourself. To me it's not about being insecure. It's about not letting anyone make a fool out of myself, like what my clients are doing to their wives.
I have met Mr B's wife twice. Like I said, she's crazy hot. She's friendly, she has the most beautiful smile, she dresses well, she walks holding hands with her husband. They really look like the perfect couple.
And yet she has no idea that her husband regularly sleeps with other women ever since they got married. I can't help but feel sorry for her.
I'm sure none of us want anybody to feel that way about us.
I'm sure none of us want anybody to feel that way about us.
So everyone, remember:
TRUST, BUT VERIFY
P/S: This goes both ways. I am not saying only guys cheat. Women do it too.
|He sent me this just now -____-|
You've been clean so far mister, but don't think you're off the hook! I got my eyes on you lol.
After reading the comments, I have decided to address some of the issues HERE.