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Thursday, July 28, 2016


Last night, as usual, I left my mom’s house around 8 pm with Alayna to go home. I got her ready for bed, did some spelling exercises with her, and then put her to sleep. Suddenly my mom called to ask me about some random stuffs like whether I had taken Alayna’s school tudung and if Alayna had already slept. It was weird cos normally she would just text me to ask those questions. She also asked if Nadri was home yet. He wasn’t.

About half an hour later, Nadri arrived.

He came into the bedroom and gave me a weird look with a strange smile on his face (no, it’s not what you think lol).

Nadri: Sayang, I think you should call Adam (my brother).

Me: Why?

Nadri: (Hesitated) I just think you should.

Me: WHY?!

Nadri: They told me not to tell you but knowing you, I think it’s best that you know.

Me: They who??? What’s going on TELL ME RIGHT NOW!!

Nadri: Just call your brother.

Me: Sayang, if you don’t tell me right this instant… (gave him the death stare) 

Nadri: Okay fine. Just now Adam saw your car passing by the guardhouse as he was walking back to Mak’s. He saw you driving and Alayna next to you.. And another person in the back seat.


Me: W H A T ?!!!!!!!!!

Nadri: He called to tell me. I had just arrived at the mamak but I straight away came home.

Or at least that’s what I think he said.

At that point I was almost hysterical. I called my mom and demanded to talk to my brother.

He said that he saw a figure sitting in the back seat behind Alayna, with LONG MESSY HAIR.

He even looked twice to be sure of what he saw.

When he got home, he asked my sister if I had brought a friend to my mom’s earlier that day. My sister said no. Then he told my mom.

So THAT’S why she gave me that weird phone call, to see if everything was okay.

And then they called Nadri and told him not to tell me cos they knew I would freak out big time since I was home alone with Alayna.

My brother asked if I had gone somewhere that I have never been to before. As a matter of fact, I did. Earlier that day I had lunch with my friends at Subang Courtyard and went to a Karaoke place there for the first time.

As I laid there in my bed processing everything that was told to me, I started to shiver with fear.  I was scared shitless.

I forced my parents and brother to come over and check the car too see if perhaps he had seen something else in my car and mistook it for a person, which is very unlikely, I know. I just wanted something, anything, to make me feel better.

When they arrived, I interrogated my brother like crazy. I was hoping that he would be unsure of what he saw but he was. He clearly saw the long and disheveled head of hair, just staring forward.

Even as I am writing this I am having major goose bumps.

We performed Isya’ together and recited the al-Quran.

My parents left around 11.30pm. I told Nadri that he could only sleep after I did. 

He said okay.

10 minutes later he was already snoring.

I couldn’t sleep. I left the light on so I guess that made it harder. I dozed off around 1am, and then I woke up at 3 am (you know the kind where you wake up in the middle of the night but for some reason you’re wide awake? That is the worst).

I nervously looked around. I nudged Nadri with my arm. Nothing. I kicked nudged him with my foot. He turned the other way.

I don’t know how long it took before I fell asleep again. It definitely felt like forever.

This morning I texted my mom to ask her to pick Alayna & I up from my house, send Alayna to school and then I would go to my mom’s. There was no way I was going to drive today.

I also cancelled my dinner plans with my friends tomorrow night (sorry Joyce & Zia Wen!). I think it’s going to take some time before I could bring myself to drive at night again.

And tonight, I made my sister and cousin come over to sleep at my house.

Asked them to sleep in Alayna's room cos it's right across mine

Some useful tips that I have learned:

* Recite Ayat Kursi and Surah al-Baqarah. Surah al-Baqarah can only protect you for 3 days so it’s advisable to do it on a regular basis. Since the surah is lengthy and would take hours to finish, you could also play it on one of those al-Quran apps and let it run throughout the day/night. 

* If you say a’uzubillahi minash syaitonirrajim, bismillahirrahmanirrahim and assalamulaikum before entering your house, whatever that’s following you will stop at the door and can’t enter with you.

Wallahualam. Allah knows best.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Alayna's Papa (picture heavy)

Because it was Father’s Day 2 days ago, I thought I would write a little token of appreciation for my husband who truly is one of the most amazing dads out there.

Throughout this 4 and a half years of raising Alayna, apart from giving birth and feeding her milk (Alayna was fully breastfed for 2 years and 8 months), he has been 100% hands-on since day 1. I could go out peacefully for some me time while knowing that Alayna will be bathed, fed, entertained and put to nap. The truth is, Nadri is so good with her that she sometimes prefers him over me. Sometimes. Most of the time she says mommy is the best hehe.

On weekends, most of the time I don’t even have to lift a finger. He would take her out for breakfast (giving me an extra hour in bed), give her a shower and then play Barbies with her rofl. 

When we’re out, he’s the one who would take her to the toilet if she wants to wash her hands/pee/poop. The same goes to when we’re on holiday. How else could I still find the time to put on falsies and curl my hair and wear 5-inch heels?

Now before you judge me, let me clarify that there are 2 reasons why he does all these things;

1)  He knows how tiring it is to take care of a child.

When Alayna was still a newborn, one time I let him handle her for a whole day by himself (even though I was home) so that he knew exactly what I had to go through every single day when he’s at work. I only took her when she wanted milk. He got the message loud and clear. He knew that it’s not just simply feeding and changing diapers. There is a lot of emotional, mental and/or physical distress involved in making a baby/toddler/kids of any age comfortable and happy. And since he can’t help me on weekdays, he takes over during weekends.

2)  He enjoys it.

He really does. He would voluntarily do all those things, not because I tell him to. Which is what some people think. I remember how a relative, who shall not be named, implied that I’m a bad wife for letting Nadri bathe her while I watched a makeup tutorial on YouTube. That’s one of the sad things about our culture isn’t it? But I shall not go into that for now. Sometimes, I even get jealous of the amount of attention that Alayna gets. It has led to several arguments that involved me asking him whether he loves me/Alayna more, which is crazy because there is no right answer for that question haha.

So thank you Sayang for showing me that parenting is teamwork and that I'm not in this alone. I am forever grateful. Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there as well!

Here is a compilation of pictures of you and Alayna from Day 1 :)